The Lost World: Jurassic Park

I wasn’t really intending on writing this review quite yet, but I saw the movie on TV a couple of weeks ago, and it really got me thinking about all of the things that are wrong with it. Don’t you just hate it when you have a movie that is really good and then it gives you a sequel that just plain sucks? Sigh (looking at Transformers DVD). Well, Jurassic Park is a prime example of such a franchise, and it really breaks my heart to do this because I really liked the first Jurassic Park movie. It really makes me sad to think that the people who brought us this masterpiece are giving us this schlock. For those who are unfamiliar with the story, here goes: Jurassic Park is about a guy who wants to build a theme park that is really unique and unlike any other in the world. He gets the idea of cloning dinosaurs and making a zoo out of them. Unfortunately, on the weekend that some scientists are set to view and give final judgments on the park, the dinosaurs are let loose and run amuck, killing some of the people involved and causing the park to be shut down and the island totally abandoned. It was a good story and had what I like to call a Frankenstein moral, which is basically when a person uses science as a means of screwing with nature and the drastic results that ensue. It was a great story, had some good action and on top of that, it had some of the greatest visuals of the time.

So, needless to say, people were really excited to see if there would be a sequel. Fans pressured both Michael Crichton, the author of the original novel, and Stephen Spielberg, the director of the first movie, to give us the sequel. To all those I say this: Be careful what you freaking wish for you whiny pigs! First of all, I have to point out that the visuals aren’t nearly as good as they were in the first movie. Normally if a movie had bad CGI, I give it crap for having bad visuals despite the fact that we are living in a post Jurassic Park world. THIS movie, however has no excuse because not only is it a sequel, it’s done by the same studio, director and screenwriter. What the hell happened?

Also, I remember reading the second book, and there were A LOT of unnecessary changes between the book and the movie. Seriously, you guys did both because fans asked you for them, shouldn’t you at least try to stay the same? The biggest one that I can remember is that in the book, the people that want to take the dinosaurs off the island are from a rival company who hired Dennis Nedry in the first movie to steal dinosaur embryos. In Lost World, they are taking advantage of the fact that INGEN (the company that tried to make the park) has abandoned the park, and want to build a park of their own. In the movie, the CEO from the first movie, John Hammond, has been kicked off the board of directors because his nephew staged some sort of coup de tat and had now taken control and wants to capture the animals to make a park of his own. Apart from this, just about everything about these characters is the same. Their motives are the same, their personalities are the same, they even die the same way. So why change it? I understand the desire to take artistic license, but there is just no reason to do it if the characters are essentially the same! All you did was change the names!

And another thing that I thought was kind of a bummer is that they chose the wrong character to have in this movie. I’ve got nothing against Jeff Goldblum, but Dr. Grant was a much better character in my opinion. Plus, I thought Malcolm died at the end of the book! They didn’t even leave it open-ended, somebody asked about him, and a character just shook his head. Unless he beat up all of the dinosaurs and swam back to the mainland (with a broken leg mind you), there is no way he should have survived that! Unless of course you were Chuck Norris, Jack Bauer or Sean Bean. But again, I digress.

Now onto another thing that makes me cry, Vince Vaughn. You have to give the guy some credit, he made a shot at becoming a more dramatic actor, and he wasn’t that bad either, the problem was that all of the scripts he was handed were just crap, including that shot-for-shot whale of a fail remake of Psycho. You did not misread that. They actually tried to remake Alfred Hitchcock’s masterpiece that is Psycho, and in this version, they practically gave away the twist ending in the trailer. But I digress. In this movie, he was sent as the photographer who turned out to be some sort of badass… Even though he didn’t do anything. He used a wrench… to open a cage. We know he held a gun at some point… because he wanted to take out the bullets so one of the poachers couldn’t shoot a T-Rex that was chasing the group. He did some other things that were… done? But that was about it. Needless to say, I hated this character and I’m glad that Vaughn decided to go into more comedic roles.

The only character that I actually liked in this movie was the main hunter, played by Pete something (I don’t know how to spell or pronounce his name). You may also remember him as Kobayashi from The Usual Suspects. Yup, he played the lawyer that almost got his brains blown out by the wussiest Baldwin brother. More recently, he was the dying father in Inception, and the shady mob boss in The Town. In this movie, he plays the main poacher that is hired by the company to bring back as many dinosaurs as possible. Actually, now that I think about it, that’s all there really is to his character. And yet, he’s far more interesting than anybody else in this movie. Maybe it’s because he has a gun and actually uses it! That’s the problem with this movie, it has a ton of characters, but we don’t care about any of them. In the first one, I really liked the characters, I already mentioned that I liked Dr. Grant, but the Kenyan hunter was cool, Samuel L Jackson playing a scientist was… a miscast in my opinion, but still interesting. In this movie, I just watched it thinking “Boring… Boring… Ooh! T-Rex! Okay that’s over… Boring… Boring… Ooh! Raptors!”

Going back to Vince Vaughn for a second, I have to bring up something about the gun. Throughout the whole movie, he, Jeff Goldblum and Julianne Moore are protesting the fact that INGEN is taking the animals off of the island, arguing that their actions will get people killed. They also believe that it isn’t right to take the dinosaurs out of their natural habitat. At one point in the movie, Pete whatshishame has a chance to take a shot at a T-Rex that is storming through their camp, eating everybody alive. At the moment where he is going to take the shot, he realizes that the shells in his gun are empty. It is later revealed that Vince Vaughn took the loaded shells out of the gun and replaced them with the already used ones. So the people who wanted to keep people from getting killed just did something that ended in people getting killed. That’s ethical, right?

And now, we come to the biggest problem of the movie. This is where the entire movie just dies. I could take bad characters, unnecessary changes from the source material and confused morals to the story. But this part just irks me to no end. After they capture the T-Rex and put it on a ship to be brought to the mainland, the ship arrives in San Diego, crashing into the harbor. The dock workers look for the crew, only to find that they have all been eaten, one of them even left his hand on the helm. It should also be pointed out that at this point, the T-Rex was still unconscious and in the part of the ship where they left him. So what the hell killed the crew? Are we meant to believe it was the T-Rex? If so, how did she break out, kill the crew, and get back into captivity without damaging the ship in the slightest? I know this is something small, but for crying out loud people! Am I the only one who spotted that?! Somebody told me that in the original screenplay, a bunch of raptors snuck aboard and killed the crew and then jumped off. Well why didn’t we see that? Answer me you sluts! 

All in all, you can gather by now that I don’t care much about this movie. However, with all that said, it isn’t all bad. The scenes with the dinosaurs, though they aren’t as nearly breathtaking as the first one, are still pretty cool and fun to watch. Now you are probably wondering what I thought about the third movie. To be completely honest with you, I actually don’t think it’s that bad. Mind you, it’s far from perfect. VERY far from perfect, but I don’t nearly have as many problems with it as I do with Lost World. Yeah some of the characters are idiots, but they at least realized at one point that they are being idiots and accept the fact that they are in over their heads. The scenes with the dinosaurs (especially the raptor chase) are pretty freaking cool and it was nice to see Dr. Grant again. But I’m pretty sure I’m alone on that one, so say what you will.

The Office

Everybody has their own favorite show. That show that they always tivo and they never miss an episode. For the longest time, that show for me was The Office. Unfortunately, that has changed. I now want it to be cancelled. Now before everybody flips out, I want to make it clear that I don't hate the show or anything. In fact, it was my favorite show for the longest time. Ask anybody that knew me in high school, they'll tell you. But I still thing it's time is up. And I say that in the best way possible. It's essentially the same principle as putting down a sick dog because you don't want to see it suffer any longer. You loved that dog for the longest time, and now is the time for you to let it go. That is how I feel about The Office. Rule of thumb with these kinds of shows is that their number is up when they jump the shark. Well, I think this show has set a record for number of sharks jumped. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, jumping the shark is the point where the writers for a show realize that they are running out of ideas, so they pull whatever crap out of their ass that they can think of in order to keep viewership up. This can be anything from weddings to essential characters leaving, to babies, you name it. Oh wait, the writers for The Office jumped all of those sharks, the first of which was done years ago. Ever since Jim and Pam got married, it has gone down hill from there. Though to be fair, Jim and Pam tying the knot is something that we fans have wanted to see, and we all knew from season 1 that it was going to happen eventually. Honestly, for me, the end was in sight when Steve Carrell left. Now I love Steve Carrell, he's a funny guy, and I actually didn't blame him for wanting to call it quits. He left for the same reason that everybody leaves a show "I have other things I want to do in my career, and this show has just kept me away from my family for too long" that's not a bad reason, and I actually like it when a star chooses to leave for a good reason rather than being fired for going on a cocaine binge and ranting about all of his bosses and costars on the internet, all the while claiming that he is "winning".

Also, not to sound like a conspiracy guy, but I think deep down, Steve knew the show had run its course, and thought that by leaving, the network would be more encouraged to end it. Unfortunately for him (and the rest of us), they didn't end it, and it has down-spiraled ever since. Sure, we have a cool character like Robert California, but he doesn't make up for the lack of Steve. For God sakes, Steve Carrell is the one standing front and center on every DVD cover. I know that they tried to make it more of an ensemble show, rather than just make it about some normal people surviving with a quirky boss, but it just doesn't work out anymore. It has some funny moments, but I honestly think that my life would still be the same if I hadn't seen them. Now I will admit that I have still been watching this season for the sake of hoping that something will come up that will give me enough reason to give a rat's ass... But as of late, it has not come. And I know that I am not alone on this. I know of a few fellow fans that have said the same thing, and even one of the cast members, Rainn Wilson said that they should end it soon. And I believe he actually said that a few years ago. I wonder how he feels now.

The Star Wars saga

Love them or hate them, there is no doubt that the Star Wars movies have had a real impact on both movies and pop culture. Not long ago, it was announced that all six movies were going to be re-released in theaters in 3-D. The only problem with this is... Actually, there are several problems with this, the most notable one being that 3-D has lost a lot of popularity in the US as of late. But no matter, people have always loved these movies and will continue to pay money to watch them on the big screen. So to commemorate this restoration, I've decided to review all six movies in sequential order.

The Phantom Menace- This one is probably my least favorite. I liked it when it first came out (I was 7 years old at the time) but I've noticed that it doesn't hold up as well over the years. For one thing, the dialogue is incredibly clunky and beyond bland, which causes quite a few members of the cast to turn in bland performances, Liam Neeson (one of my favorite actors) being one of them. On top of that, I can't shake this feeling that there are some things that were written in there purely for the purpose of marketing, most of all the podracing sequence. To be fair though, the podracing game for the N64 was pretty sick. And of course, the most hated part of this movie... or any movie... or any part of culture... or just humanity in general has to be the satanic Jar Jar Binks. I might have been able to forgive this movie if this character was just written or edited out entirely. Having said that, the movie isn't entirely bad. For one thing, this is the movie that has Darth Maul, one of the coolest characters in the entire saga. And from this character does come a pretty awesome lightsaber fight. But other than that, this movie is pretty forgettable. Unlike most of the other movies, I don't remember any good quotes or witty one liners.

Final grade: C-

Attack of the Clones- This one pretty much has all of the same problems as the first one. The dialogue is clunky yet again, the performances are bland, but it also has a few other things that it suffers from. One of them being that there is a romance that is not believable at all and feels incredibly forced. On top of that, Anakin Skywalker just seemed like a whiny little teenager that felt like he was the smartest person in any room he was in. And man did that just get annoying. The battles were cool, but again, I don't really remember anything about it, except for the ungodly uncomfortable dialogue.
FInal Grade: C-

Revenge of the Sith- This one was the closest that any of the prequels came to being a good movie. Again, the performances were really wooden, most of it is pretty forgettable, but on the plus side, the battles were pretty cool, and it was nice to see Darth Vader on the big screen. However, I do take issue with the fact that someone died by "Losing the will to live", it seems like such a cop out way to kill somebody off.
Final Grade: C+

A New Hope- This was when things started to get good. The dialogue was better, the characters were cool, and we actually gave a shit about what was going on. I love the character of Han Solo, and we got to see him blow a guy's brains out in the middle of a crowded bar, and we also got to see the classic trench run flying scene. Fun fact: Luke Skywalker's journey throughout the story has been referred to as being a prime example of a hero's journey.
Final Grade: A

The Empire Strikes Back- This one is my personal favorite. Everything that was cool about Hope was doubled in this movie. Vader is cooler, Han is cooler, Boba Fett got some screen time, we are introduced to Yoda, we actually learn more about that thing called "The Force", we meet the only black guy in the galaxy, and do I even need to bring up the battle of Hoth? Classic. Not to mention that this movie has one of the most famous revelations in all of cinematic history.
Final Grade: A+

Return of the Jedi- This one WOULD be my favorite except for one thing. For the most part, I love this movie, I love that we get to see the emperor, I love the final confrontation at the end of the movie, I love the redemption that one character has (again being one of the most famous moments in all of film). The only thing that I don't like about this movie is those fucking ewoks. I'm pretty sure that they were only made so that Lucas could make money off of selling teddy bear like toys out of these damn fur balls. Plus, I don't get how these guys were able to take on the emperor's finest legion of soldiers (he even says that they are his finest troops). For that reason, this movie suffers, but not that much, you still get emotionally involved in what is going on. The other thing that this movie suffers from is the fact that this one has had the most changes from original to DVD to blu-ray. For some unknown reason, George Lucas insists on changing and adding things to the original movies every time they are rereleased. He reasons that by changing things around and adding CGI characters to these movies, people will have the incentive to see them again. What George doesn't seem to get however is that we fans love the movies the way they are, they don't need anything added to them, we fell in love with them when we first saw them, and adding CGI monsters and unneeded lines will only serve to piss us off even more.
Final Grade: A-

So those are my thoughts on each of the installments of the Star Wars saga. And for those of you who are wondering what my order of favorites is, here you go:

5
6
4
3
2
1

The Grey

I saw this movie last night and rather than write a review immediately after getting home from the theater, I decided to wait, because I had to think through a few things on this movie. Namely the ending, which I'll talk about later without giving away any spoilers.

So this movie is with Liam Neeson, and no, it is not Liam Neeson from Taken, it's just Liam Neeson. I say that because ever since Taken came out, Liam Neeson has played a few really badass characters, and I think a lot of us were expecting the same sort of thing in this movie. Well that is not the case. He plays a character that is really flawed, really unhappy and just don't right depressed. He is a guy who has done some less than admirable things in his life and is now wasting away his remaining years working for a petroleum company in Alaska, protecting their workers from the dangerous Alaskan wolves that wonder through the area. On his way home from a job, the plane gets taken down and those that survive have to find a way back to civilization while being hunted by ravenous wolves. Now that set up may sound cliche but the actual execution is anything but. I'd like to go more into it, but that would be giving away certain plot points, and I really want you guys to see this movie if you haven't already.

Before I give you my grade, I do want to talk about the ending. At first, I hated the ending, and here's why: Without giving anything away, I am going to summarize the ending in one word. You ready?

Sopranos

That is how I'm going to describe it. If you don't know what I mean by that, go ask somebody that watched the show, because they can explain it to you. It is for this reason that I didn't like the ending at first, but over time it really grew on me and I understand now why they left it off the way they did. And before you ask, now I don't think there will be a sequel... Ever.

Final grade: B+

The Woman in Black

The horror genre is a suffering one. In the past years, just about every genre that I love seems to have made big leaps in terms of plot devices and story telling from comic book movies to westerns. Campy flicks with cheesy dialoge have turned into action packed dramas with thought provoking questions while fun action driven movies have turned into gritty period pieces. Horror is one of the unfortunate groups that has seemed to have taken a few steps back in recent years. Lately it seems as though the only things studios find scary are jump scares and gore porn. Every now and then, we get a really good horror flick, one that treats its audience with respect and not only causes them to jump in their seats, but also to feel disturbed in the time following. The Woman in Black is such a flick. Based on the novel of the same name, this movie is a throwback to the old school ghost stories, the kind that we would tell around a camp fire. The story centers around a young lawyer who is assigned the task of travelling out to a town in the country to settle a client's affairs right after her death. Upon arriving in town, Arthur Kipps (played by Daniel Radcliffe), finds that the inhabitants are scared out of their wits due to the unsettling presence of a spectre of a woman dressed entirely in black. Every time this ghost is seen, a child dies in a freak accident sometime later. While sorting through his client's papers, Kipps deduces that the ghost is that of a woman who was scorned in life and has returned to exact her vengeance from beyond the grave. This is without a doubt one of the best ghost movies I have seen in recent years, making me jump in my seat multiple times and even causing one patron to leave the theater altogether saying (and I quote) "This is just too damn scary". The best part of the movie is this 10-15 minute segment where Kipps is constantly walking around this haunted house trying to find the source of different noises and disturbances, and not liking what he finds. Everything from spontaneously rocking rocking chairs to flickering lights to mysterious footsteps to musical toys going off all by themselves is included in this scene. Sure, it's cliche but it's a cliche that never gets old and will continue to scare audiences for years to come. The atmosphere of this movie is great and you really get this unsettling feeling throughout. From the very first scene where we see three little girls jump out of a window to their death, we get this very unnerving feeling throughout the rest of the movie. To be honest, I'm a little surprised that this movie didn't get an R rating, being that the majority of the deaths in the movie are children.

And now let's talk about the thing that should have audiences talking because it was so well done: The Woman in Black herself. The best part about ghost stories like these is the idea that the fear comes from what we don't see. Or rather, when we see it, it's a lot more simple than we expect, thus adding to the fear. Let me explain. In Sixth Sense, the ghosts did not look like typical ghosts, they looked like people with dark circles under their eyes. If you saw them on the street, you wouldn't think that they were a ghost, you would think that they just hadn't slept in a few days. And then when we learned that they were ghosts, it made it that much more freaky thinking that anybody could be a ghost in this character's mind. Same basic principle is applied here. The  first few times Kipps sees the woman, he isn't even aware that she is a ghost, he thinks she is just some random woman. However, when he tells the other people that he saw her, their reaction is more than enough to add to the suspense and tension. There are a number of moments when she appears in the background and you just want to yell out "SHE'S RIGHT THERE!!!" The icing on the cake is that you never get a good look at her face. With the exception of about three times in the movie, you always see her from a distance, and her face is always covered by a veil, making her face difficult to make out. Even the moments where you do see her up close, it is only for a few brief moments. It's a small detail but I think it is one that speaks volumes about the filmmakers' abilities and understanding of horror and ghost stories.

The other thing I would like to address is the main star, Daniel Radcliffe. A lot of people have questioned whether or not he will have much of a career after the Harry Potter franchise wrapped up. This was going to be the movie that answered that question for all of us. And to be honest with you, I think he will. We have all seen him grow as both a person and as an actor over the course of the Harry Potter movies and I think he showed some real acting chops in this flick.

Final Grade: A-

There is one more thing I would like to talk about, but before I continue, please excuse this short interruption.

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

Sorry, but a friend of mine read my Sherlock Holmes review and didn't heed my spoiler warning and got mad at me. At first, I argued that I shouldn't be held responsible for somebody else's stupidity, but after talking to my lawyer, it turns out that I am, so now I am legally obligated to do that.

Anyway, I wanted to talk about a lot of the changes that were made to the story from the book. Being that I read the book, I was a little irked at first, but then I got over it and actually gave the filmmakers credit for taking some artistic license with the story. In the movie, Arthur is a widower whose wife died in childbirth. The movie ends with both Arthur and his son being killed because of the woman's malice towards Kipps (she only meant to kill the son as a way of getting to Kipps, but he sacrificed himself so she wouldn't have him, it's a long story). Afterwards, they find themselves reunited with Kipps' wife in the afterlife.

Now onto the book ending. In the book, Arthur has a young wife (who is not dead) and son who he cares about very much. Unfortunately, their ending is much more tragic than the movie. Arthur concludes his business at the house and returns home thinking his affair with the ghost is done with. However, a few months later, the family is enjoying a day at a carnival when Arthur sees the woman standing in the distance while his wife and son are riding a pony and trap. The ghost steps out in front of the carriage causing the horse to freak out and crash, killing the son and fatally wounding the mother, who dies a few months later. The Woman in Black has now exacted her vengeance on Kipps for trying to meddle in her business. Arthur is now left alone haunted by the fact that the Woman in Black has given him one of the biggest middle fingers in literary history. That'll teach you to screw with the supernatural.

Needless to say, there is a huge chunk of the plot that I am leaving out here. Just because it's a spoilers section doesn't mean that I have to tell you everything. The reason for the hauntings is actually kind of sad and while you are scared of the ghost, their is still part of you that feels for her. There is another part of the story that they changed that I have decided to divulge to you here. In the book, it is just the woman  haunting Kipps. In the movie, he is disturbed by visions of the woman, the woman's son (again, long story) as well as all of the children that she has claimed.

Now what I am about to tell you may surprise you, especially if you read the book. I actually thought that the changes they made were improvements on the story. For one thing, having Kipps' wife dead already and the affect that it has had on him adds to the tragedy of the character and explains a lot of the actions that he takes. Also showing images of the children is very chilling as well, especially when there is a scene where you see them all standing in a group almost as if the ghost considers them trophies to be collected.

I'm going to assume that my friend who got me in this mess hasn't read this far, so now I have something to say. Are you shittin me man? I told him there was going to be spoilers and yet he still got angry at me. And for gosh sakes I spoiled something that happened five minutes into the movie! It's not like I gave away some big twist or anything! Keep in mind, this was also the same guy that told me I absolutely HAD to see Rise of the Apes (I know the title is different, but fuck it, I don't care). There is something else that he has done that furthers my anger, I almost feel like bringing it up isn't fair. Fuck it, he didn't heed my warning, so what the hell. This guy reads Twilight, willingly I might add. Now look, I said that Twilight was one of those fads that girls liked and guys liked to make fun of. And he defended it when he read my analysis on that shit storm. Now look, I understand that this is all opinion based, but I don't care, I'm the one with the balls to write my opinions and I'm the one who people keep asking about this kind of thing and take my advice into account. Does that make my opinion more valid? Yup. Screw you David. Oh wait... Should I have not mentioned his name on here? Oh boo hoo. If you're reading this and you know David,  go bother him about it. And if you don't know the David I'm talking about, go find someone named David, and just bug him, and let him know that the Movie Prick hates his guts. Yeah, I said it. David, assuming your stupid ass didn't heed my warning (again) and is reading this, I think you should have the following message: Eat shit!

Yours Truly,
MP

Drive

I just finished doing 2 things: watching Drive and writing my final will and testament. Why did I write my will you may ask? Because after people see what I'm about to write, I don't expect to live much longer. Having said that, let's move on.

So when I made my list of favorite movies of last year, people kept telling me that I forgot to include Drive. Truth be told, I didn't forget it. The reason being that I just hadn't gotten around to seeing it yet. And in between the time that I wrote that and saw this, people told me a number of things. One of them being that I would love it because it's right up my alley. So I finally watched it and I have to say that my final opinion of the movie is as follows:

Meh

That's it. Meh. Nothing about it really wowed me the way everybody else was. I keep getting the feeling that the screenwriter of this movie wrote it after watching Memento and No Country for Old Men back to back. And I really liked both of those movies.  I've heard that this movie has kind of a cult following, which I can see, but there is one group of people that I can really see loving this movie: Arthouse loving hipsters. Being that neither art house movies nor hipsterism is my thing, I didn't really get into this movie. Though I guess that the whole world became overrun by arthouse hipsters because a shit load of people told me to see this. Oh well. Do I regret buying it? No... Because I bought it for less than twenty bucks using loose change that I found around my room. Believe it or not, I actually found around thirty dollars worth of loose change around my room.

I guess this is another one of those instances where I didn't get into a movie that everybody else liked. Though, I don't dislike this movie to the degree that I distaste Titanic or Avatar.

Yours truly,
MP

Favorite Nostalgia Shows

This last weekend at work, my comrades and I got to talking about something that is both a blessing and a curse: nostalgia. When it comes to reminiscing about high school or days when you felt like you were king of the world, nostalgia can be a bit of a bitch. When it comes to remembering favorite childhood shows, however, nostalgia is sweeter than sugar, especially when you learn that such godsends are now available on DVD. So, here I am to present my personal favorites of nostalgic cartoons. Being that I am a 90's kid, I have to say that I belong to a great generation, if not the best. We had some kickass shows, while the generation after us has Hannah Montana. Is that a downgrade? I'll let you decide (yup).

5. Recess- Ah yes, good old Recess. this was a show with a really simplistic premise that was done very cleverly. The basic plot of the show is that there is this group of fourth grade kids, each of them represents a different archetype (jock, geek, thespian and so forth) going on all sorts of wacky adventures that made us all wish our school was this removed from reality. What is so clever about it is that the show was about things that every kid goes through (detention, stress of school pictures, dodgeball warfare and whatnot), but it was done in such an over the top way that you couldn't help but be sucked in by it. There was one episode where the fourth and fifth graders are playing dodgeball against each other, and the tone and style is done like a spaghetti western. How fucking cool is that?! The final showdown is even done in widescreen with tumble weed, epic western music, the whole nine yards. And that's just one episode. Think about how the epic the rest of the show was!

4. Dexter's Laboratory- This was actually a favorite of mine for years. This was about a young boy with an absurd level of genius who had a laboratory hidden behind a bookcase in his room. Something that I never thought about, but now it kind of bugs me is that his lab is pretty huge. In fact, it's a lot bigger than his actual house! Is part of it under ground? Once again, it's a TV show, so I don't mind it being removed from reality. Seriously though, how does that work?

3. Anything related to old school Warner Bros. or Disney cartoons- I put these in the same category because they are the definitive cartoons that we think of. When people start to talk about cartoons, most of us will automatically think of either Mickey Mouse or Bugs Bunny. Some might say Tom and Jerry, but you get the point. The sad thing about these cartoons is that they were on all the time when I was younger and now they are barely on ever. They keep getting buried by Chowder, Perry the Platypus (side note: I have a friend named Perry who resented the fact that he shared his name with a platypus) and whatever the hell else they show on kids' channels.

2. Animaniacs/ Pinky and the Brain- Two words: HELL YES. These shows were awesome. I decided that they should share a spot because they were after all sister productions and had a lot of the same writers. These shows were absolute genius. They knew how to entertain kids and also be intelligent enough (and in some cases, naughty enough) to entertain adults as well. These shows were so funny that I would still watch them if they ever came on again. In fact, I'm such a fucking dork that at the time of typing this, I have just ordered a DVD of some of the best Animaniacs episodes. Why not Pinky and the Brain you ask? Simple! I already have one. So there.

1. Batman: The Animated Series- If you have been following this blog at all, you would know by now that I freaking love Batman. I will admit, I've never read any of the comics, but I freaking love all the other media that involves Batman. I've already said that he is one of my childhood heroes and have even listed The Dark Knight as being one of my favorite movies. And this show is just awesome. The characters are great, the stories are great, the animation is very fitting, it's just an awesome show. Like Animaniacs, this is also a show that is good for adults too. The action is good enough for kids but the dark stories and well thought out and developed characters are just astounding. Even some of the villains like Two-Face, The Riddler and Mr. Freeze are very three dimensional. I heard somebody describe Freeze as being almost Shakespearean, and I wholeheartedly believe that. In fact, I think it applies to almost all the villains on this show. This is also the show that has the best Joker. Don't get me wrong, Heath Ledger and Jack Nicholson were pretty dang amazing, but the Joker in this show (voiced by Mark Hamill aka Luke Skywalker) is by far the best one. Most fans will tell you that this is their favorite one. You know how Jack Nicholson was mostly clown with little demon while Heath Ledger was mostly demon and little clown? Well, Hamill's Joker is the perfect balance of both. And I have to admit that I never would have expected that out of a cartoon of all places. But that just makes it more genius.