Cabin in the Woods

Okay, now that my review of Bully is done and over with, lets talk about the movie that I was really hyped to see today. And by the way, if you are reading this and you received a text message from me saying that you had to see this movie, that is for one simple reason, and that is that in the time that I have known you, you have exhibited a liking of one or more of the following things: Science fiction, horror, or Joss Whedon. In some cases, you have a liking for all 3. The film was written by Joss Whedon, who is better known for creating the show Firefly as well as being tasked with directing the upcoming Avengers movie. Now while I will say that I was never a huge fan of his before, I can also say with confidence that I am a huge fan now after seeing this movie. My guess is that he decided to write this movie after taking a sick week and decided to kill time by watching movies like Evil Dead, Scream and any other Wes Craven or Sam Raimi movie because this definitely has elements of all those movies packed into these 2 hours. That is all I can really say about this movie without giving too much of it away. Now if you would like to know a bit more (and I promise I will keep the spoilers to a minimum even here because I want you to see this movie), read on. For those of you who don't want to read on, but want to know my final thoughts, all I can say without giving to much away is that I FREAKING LOVE THIS MOVIE. At first, I saw the trailer and thought "Oh, its just another movie about a bunch of idiots who walk into the wrong part of the woods and get slaughtered while getting drunk and having sex" Which isn't that far off, but there is so much to it that I can't really get into it because it would take forever. I have to say, this really is one of the most creative movies I have seen in a while. Not much else to say accept that if somebody wants to tell you the ending (which even I wouldn't dare spoil, not even on here), you are within your rights to shoot them in the face, because the movie is that trippy and that awesome. Much like Woman in Black, I think this deserves to be listed as a classic horror film, even though they are both very different. While Woman in Black had a classic, spooky, Hammer feel to it (it was actually made by Hammer Films) and took itself very seriously, this one had more of a satirical and comedic feel to it at times. This was a fun, creative and even humorous horror flick that, like I said before, had quite a few nods to the films of Wes Craven and Sam Raimi. Both work great to serving their specific purposes and deserve your viewing. Bottom line: GO SEE THIS MOVIE.
Final Grade: A+

I love that picture.

Anyways, if you made it this far, you obviously don't care about minor spoilers. You are also probably fat, and smell like a deteriorating unicorn carcass. Moving on, basically the rest of this post is going to be all the things I wanted to say, but couldn't because it would be spoiling this epic motion picture. Again, while this is a spoilers section, I still don't want to give too much away, but I will say that this movie involves all of the following:

1. zombies
2. torturing redneck zombies
3. swat teams
4. giant spiders
5. killer clowns
6. ancient, demonic gods
7. unicorns (don't ask)
8. Joss Whedon
9. creepy old rednecks foretelling doom
10. mer-men
11. a cameo by Sigourney Weaver
12. giant snakes
13. werewolves
14. ghosts
15. just about every other monster that has, at one point, shown up in a horror flick

Are you still here? Because if you made it to the end of that list, and you haven't decided to see it yet, you really have a problem... You really need to go see this movie... GO NOW!