Cabin in the Woods

Okay, now that my review of Bully is done and over with, lets talk about the movie that I was really hyped to see today. And by the way, if you are reading this and you received a text message from me saying that you had to see this movie, that is for one simple reason, and that is that in the time that I have known you, you have exhibited a liking of one or more of the following things: Science fiction, horror, or Joss Whedon. In some cases, you have a liking for all 3. The film was written by Joss Whedon, who is better known for creating the show Firefly as well as being tasked with directing the upcoming Avengers movie. Now while I will say that I was never a huge fan of his before, I can also say with confidence that I am a huge fan now after seeing this movie. My guess is that he decided to write this movie after taking a sick week and decided to kill time by watching movies like Evil Dead, Scream and any other Wes Craven or Sam Raimi movie because this definitely has elements of all those movies packed into these 2 hours. That is all I can really say about this movie without giving too much of it away. Now if you would like to know a bit more (and I promise I will keep the spoilers to a minimum even here because I want you to see this movie), read on. For those of you who don't want to read on, but want to know my final thoughts, all I can say without giving to much away is that I FREAKING LOVE THIS MOVIE. At first, I saw the trailer and thought "Oh, its just another movie about a bunch of idiots who walk into the wrong part of the woods and get slaughtered while getting drunk and having sex" Which isn't that far off, but there is so much to it that I can't really get into it because it would take forever. I have to say, this really is one of the most creative movies I have seen in a while. Not much else to say accept that if somebody wants to tell you the ending (which even I wouldn't dare spoil, not even on here), you are within your rights to shoot them in the face, because the movie is that trippy and that awesome. Much like Woman in Black, I think this deserves to be listed as a classic horror film, even though they are both very different. While Woman in Black had a classic, spooky, Hammer feel to it (it was actually made by Hammer Films) and took itself very seriously, this one had more of a satirical and comedic feel to it at times. This was a fun, creative and even humorous horror flick that, like I said before, had quite a few nods to the films of Wes Craven and Sam Raimi. Both work great to serving their specific purposes and deserve your viewing. Bottom line: GO SEE THIS MOVIE.
Final Grade: A+

I love that picture.

Anyways, if you made it this far, you obviously don't care about minor spoilers. You are also probably fat, and smell like a deteriorating unicorn carcass. Moving on, basically the rest of this post is going to be all the things I wanted to say, but couldn't because it would be spoiling this epic motion picture. Again, while this is a spoilers section, I still don't want to give too much away, but I will say that this movie involves all of the following:

1. zombies
2. torturing redneck zombies
3. swat teams
4. giant spiders
5. killer clowns
6. ancient, demonic gods
7. unicorns (don't ask)
8. Joss Whedon
9. creepy old rednecks foretelling doom
10. mer-men
11. a cameo by Sigourney Weaver
12. giant snakes
13. werewolves
14. ghosts
15. just about every other monster that has, at one point, shown up in a horror flick

Are you still here? Because if you made it to the end of that list, and you haven't decided to see it yet, you really have a problem... You really need to go see this movie... GO NOW!

Bully

It's not very often that I say this, but this movie deserves to be shown in every school, particularly in 6th or 7th grade classes. I know that most schools already do something like this to show the affects that bullying can have on a person, both in the short term and the long term, but this movie really hits it spot on as to how much bullying can mess a person up. However, I think the movie missed an opportunity by only showing the person being bullied and not showing us much about the bullies themselves. If we got a reason as to why people say or do these terrible things, it would have made an already strong message even stronger. Side note: I think it is total BS that this movie got an R-rating all because of 2 f-bombs being dropped.
Final Grade: A-

Rome on HBO

As if I needed another show to get hooked on, a friend of mine decided to introduce the show Rome to me, and all I have to say is: DAMN.

Okay, so a little history, the show Rome was on HBO for a few years, and while the show was insanely popular, it was also insanely expensive, so the powers that be decided to pull it from the air after the end of the second season. While that is unfortunate and it would be interesting to see where they would have taken the show, this is a classic example of quitting while one is ahead. Now, to be honest, I'm only about 3/4 of the way through the first season, and I have to say that I am beyond impressed. One of the things that I like about HBO is that while I do enjoy shows like Entourage or The Sopranos where it is set in a modern day setting with characters that are like everyday people, I really love it when HBO goes all out with shows like Game of Thrones, Boardwalk Empire, Band of Brothers, and now this. As much as I love Gladiator, I never got the feeling that we saw what Rome itself was really like during this time period, considering that Gladiator was primarily about the politicians and the schemers. With Rome, you really get an idea as to what a shithole of a place Rome actually was during this time, we see how the higher class lived as well as the bottom of the barrel and how they survived in this world. Of course with a show like this, it is only reasonable to expect some pretty epic war scenes and while there are a few, they are like walk-by war scenes. You see about 30 seconds worth of fighting and then you see the aftermath. But you will learn to forgive that because the show isn't about big battles and fighting for honor and all that stuff. The first few episodes of the season basically tell the story of how Rome went from being a republic to being an empire, and it didn't happen overnight like Revenge of the Sith, it was a pretty long process that involved a lot of backstabbing, death and hurt feelings. And being that this is HBO, the acting is top notch with Ciarian Hinds (I mentioned him back in my John Carter review as being that guy that shows up everywhere but you never know his name) as Gaius Julius Caesar and many other top notch actors, some of whom I think are just plain underrated (such as the Australian dude from The Other Guys). And of course, the other thing that is almost a guarantee with HBO is an absolute abundance of nudity (mainly from women). I think it's almost redundant for me to even bring that up, but some people are still surprised that HBO takes pride in being one of the few networks that can get away with naked people. And they really flaunt that in this show. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of naked women as much as any guy, but there are times where I have to ask "Really guys? Is it THAT necessary? This is the 6th time we have seen this person's ass!" But I digress. All in all, I think this is a great show that is well worth the watch. You can rent them, but I will tell you now that the replay value of this show is pretty high... And NO, it's not because of the abundance of naked women... Though let's be honest, that does play a part... A small part... Hey don't call me gross! Every other guy is saying the exact same thing!