Thursday, October 25, 2012

Villain of the Day- October 25th

The Headless Horseman
Okay, I'm sort of cheating on this one because when I talk about the Headless Horseman, I'm not just talking about the one in the Disney cartoon The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, even though I really do like that short. I'm also talking about the one played by Christopher Walken in Tim Burton's movie Sleepy Hollow. Back when I talked about my top guilty pleasures, I mentioned that a number of Tim Burton's movies were guilty pleasures, and this is one of them. I enjoy the heck out of it, but it does have it's pretty silly moments, and Christopher Walken's screen time is definitely the best one. Walken is not even in it for that long, being that he played the Horseman when he was alive, but his five minutes on screen is enough for me to watch it again. He doesn't even have lines apart from a blood crazed battle cry. Same goes for the Horseman in the Disney version, he just has an evil cackle that sounds awesome. It's that classic evil laugh that almost every villain has. There isn't anything particularly iconic about these villains, neither have really had an impact on culture the way that Darth Vader or The Joker had, but I just think that they are a ton of fun to watch. And again, the idea of the strangest man alive as the Headless Horseman is just perfect in my mind.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Villain(s) of the Day- Oct 24th

Today, we are going to be looking at the trinity of bitchiness. Honestly, I find it rather weird that Disney of all companies are the ones creating characters that are just this horrible.

The Evil Queen
This one I already sort of talked about when we talked about the Queen from Snow White and the Huntsman, so I won't talk about her too much. What I will say though, is that if I found out that my stepmom was not only trying to kill me, but dabbling in the supernatural as a means of doing it, I would probably become pretty paranoid. You would think that the psychological effects on Snow White would be much more severe. I'd start looking at everyone thinking they were her in disguise. I mean yeah, she fell off that cliff at the end, but what's to stop her from coming back? We already know she's been fooling around with Black Magic. How do we know she hasn't learned a resurrection spell? Am I the only one who has thought about this? Don't you think that would make an awesome sequel? Perhaps a bit unnecessary, but you could make it work.

Another delightful woman, Maleficent shares something in common with the Evil Queen in that she wanted to kill the princess for a lame ass reason. And that is that she wasn't invited to the birthday party. I've looked it up, and that is the only reason they give for her cursing the princess. Imagine if these women had a legitimate reason for wanting them dead. Not that that would be possible because violence is never the answer!... I couldn't even type that with a straight face. And look, if wanting an infant dead, having an army of evil-looking goblins and turning into a dragon doesn't make you evil, just add the fact that she is going to be played by Angelina Jolie and there you go! You have the queen of all bitches right here!

Lady Tremaine
Of the three women here, she is probably the odd ball in that she isn't really an oddball. She is actually the only one here with no connection to the dark arts... Doesn't make her any less of a bitch. As a matter of fact, she may be a bigger bitch because all she has is the ability to manipulate Cinderella's life and maker her dance to her beat. And man does she take advantage of that! Unlike the other two, she doesn't have a lame reason for doing this, she doesn't really even have a reason. I'm not sure which is worse! But I think the worst part of this character is that she actually named her cat after the devil. I'm not even kidding, she named her cat Lucifer. What kind of fucked up life are you leading when you look at a cat and think "You know what? Lucifer sounds like a cute name for you!" Fun fact: The same woman that voiced Maleficent is also the voice of Lady Tremaine and the crystal ball in Haunted Mansion

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Villain of the Day- Oct 23-2

(this particular part cracks me up)
"I have antlers on all of my decorating!"
Can I admit that I really like Beauty and the Beast and still convince you that I am a straight guy? I know it's a total chick flick and it's all about the romance and what not, but it's a really well told story with some really well written characters, and it's just all around a damn good movie. Thanks in no small part to the villain, Gaston, who is a drop dead handsome athletic guy that always seems to get what he wants. Something that a number of people have pointed out is that if this were any other story, he would actually be the hero, which again makes sense because he does fit the description for what a typical hero would be. Although while most heroes do things because it's the right thing to do, or they're doing it for their one true love, Gaston mostly does it for the attention and praise. His argument for wanting to marry Belle is that they are the two best looking people in town, so they should get together and produce immaculate offspring. Not a bad argument, except that's his only argument. Apart from his attitude and outlook on life, Gaston is one of my favorites because he has the funniest song in the movie (at least to me he does). His song about all of his hobbies and little habits had me cracking up when I last heard it, it's just so corny! I always had this image about him when he was younger that he was the stereotypical jock in high school who everybody loved and no matter what he did, people would love him for it, at least that would explain how he ended up being this arrogant and self-absorbed. Also, about his sidekick, whose name I can't remember right now. Am I the only one getting any sort of homoerotic vibes from that guy? I know he likes Gaston, and their friends and everything... But do you think he's mancrushing on him maybe a little too much? Food for thought

Villain of the Day- Oct 23rd

Captain Hook
This is probably one of my favorite Disney villains. Captain Hook always made me laugh when I saw this as a little kid. Mostly because the scenes where he fights off the crocodile are among the funniest scenes you will ever see in an animated movie. But on top of that, he is also very threatening and sadistic, as most Disney villains are. In fact, now that I think about it, in just about every rendition, Captain Hook always has been a badass, probably the most when he was played by Jason Isaacs. Disney's version of the story has become the one that most of us know, and it's often the first one that we think of when we here somebody say "Peter Pan" which isn't all that bad considering that it is done quite well. I don't know if Hook was as comical in the book as he is portrayed on screen, but he is still a memorable character and he steals every scene he is in. I was thinking of including Smee in this, but I never really saw him as a villain. Sure, he is on the pirates' side, but he is just too much of a sweetheart, I can't see him in that light. But again, the scenes with Hook and Smee are among the funniest in an animated movie, and I love the way that Hook is always crying for Smee's help when the crocodile shows up.

Villain of the Day- Oct 22nd

"Oh I love it when I'm nasty"
Professor Ratigan
Being that I am owned by the Walt Disney Company, I am contractually obligated to include some of their villains in my countdown. And to be honest, that's not really much of a chore considering they have given us some pretty memorable badguys. They practically have their own category. One of the more underrated villains comes from what I see as being one of the most underrated Disney movies of all time, The Great Mouse Detective. The villain is a rat called Professor Ratigan, who is basically the rat version of Professor Moriarty. Something that I learned not too long ago is that he was voiced by the late, great Vincent Price. If you don't know who that is, you at least know what he's done. Most notably, he is the creepy voice from Michael Jackson's Thriller music video. Now picture that voice, as a Disney villain. That sounds like a match made in Heaven! And it truly is. I recently saw this movie again and I love the way Price plays Ratigan. He is always smiling and giggling especially when he does the most wretched things, and he really makes an effort at keeping his class and composure, even though we know that deep down he is a bloodthirsty monster. Again, I think this is one of the most underrated movies to come from my employers, and Ratigan truly deserves to be ranked up there with Scar and Jafar for best Disney Villains... Oh don't worry, we'll get to them too.

Villain of the Day- Oct 21st


"I'm never going to see a merman"
"Dude, be grateful, those things are terrifying. And the cleanup is a nightmare"
Hadley and Stitterson
This one is going to be hard to talk about because if you haven't seen The Cabin in the Woods, you really need to. It is one of the most creative movies of this year and I even added it to my favorite movies of all time. Part of what makes it so great are these two guys. They are the two that sit in a control room and control every action that happens. You would think they were sadistic, seeing as how they are doing some pretty terrible things to unsuspecting kids, but when you consider that they are doing this for a pretty good reason, you can forgive it. Honestly, some of the best scenes in the movie are just of these two talking and making witty remarks. And it is pretty cool to see how they manage to manipulate everything from one small room. They do other clever things throughout the movie like find things to place bets on and what not, which makes the horrible things that they have to do seem like another day at work for them. Which it is, and they would both admit that it's kind of depressing, which is why they go out of their way to make things as humorous and entertaining as possible. One employee says it's their way of letting off steam. If you are a horror fan, this flick is definitely worth the watch, especially for the scenes involving these two guys.

Villain of the Day- Oct 20th

"You have failed me for the last time"
Darth Vader
If there is one thing that most people know about me, apart from loving to talk about movies, it's that I am an incurable nerd. So you all knew that it was only a matter of time before we started talking about Star Wars. After all, Lord of the Rings was not that long ago, how could we not get around to one of the most iconic movie sagas, with some of the most iconic characters of all time? For starters, we are going to talk about one of the most identifiable, badass villains to have ever been written. Darth Vader, before he was written in the prequels as a whiny pipsqueak that hit on women twice his age, was one of the biggest badasses, not only in sci-fi but in film in general. He had one of the most awesome entrances ever in New Hope, where he just walks in and looks at a bunch of dead bodies like it's another day at the office, and then just keeps walking. In Empire, he became way more pimp than he already was, being able to strangle disloyal minions via skype and scare the living piss out of the rest of them just by walking past. Darth Vader has become such an icon in pop culture, that you don't even need to see Star Wars in order to know who he is, or even how badass he is. Just the image of him standing with his lightsaber drawn is enough to know that this guy is not to be fucked with. Not to mention that one of the greatest twists of all time is one that involved him, leading to again, another iconic movie moment. Everything about this character is classic, from his appearance, to his voice, to that always memorable music that accompanied his first appearance in Empire. If you haven't seen any of these classic movies, I would definitely tell you to give them a look. Even if you don't enjoy them yourself, you can at least see why they had the impact that they did, and why we all love characters like Darth Vader.

"Strike me down with all of your hatred, and you journey towards the dark side will be complete!"
Darth Vader to the Emperor "What is they bidding, my master?"
The Emperor
Even though he is the main antagonist for the whole series, the Emperor, while cool in his own right, is always pushed to the side when talking about villains. I think it has to do with the fact that Darth Vader was so fucking boss that nobody, not even his own boss, could top him. But no matter, like I said, the Emperor really had a lot of build up throughout Hope and Empire. They always talked about him like "Yeah, Vader might be bad, but at least we don't have the Emperor watching us", but then in Return of the Jedi, Vader informs them that the Emperor is coming to oversee the final preparations for the second Death Star, and you can tell the officer he is informing is just shitting himself. And yet, when we finally see him, after all that build up, he has the appearance of a frail old man. Doesn't really sound all that impressive, but then you see him do things like shoot lightning bolts out of his finger tips. And then you remember that this is after all  the only guy that Vader has to answer to, so he must have some kind of badass rap sheet if he is going to be the one person that the biggest badass in existence has to take orders from. Suddenly, he doesn't look so frail. Actually, for all their faults, I would say that the Emperor was one of the things that the prequels got right for the most part. He's depicted as this mysterious figure who is pulling everybody's strings whether they know it or not. And just in general, that's a good trait for a villain to have.