Before you read on, I understand that this is all opinion based. Movies that I like are not always going to be movies that you like, and movies that I hate won't always be movies that you hate as well. But here are some movies that just really rub me the wrong way, and part of it is because they are just so doggone popular and I always here people go on about how they love them and how great they are. But you know what? Fuck it, I'm gonna take a look today at the movies that I really despise, but everyone else just can't get enough of.
10. Drive- This is a movie that I reviewed a few months ago and if you read it, you would know that my opinion of it was that I didn't really love it, but didn't really have any deep seeded hate towards it either. But ever since I posted that review, I have had so many people tell me about how much they loved it and how tasteless I am for not liking it yaddah yaddah yaddah. Guys, I understand why people would like it, but I think you are giving it a little too much credit. And when I also mention that everybody and their mother told me to see this because this is one of the greatest movies of the last five years, you better believe that I am going to hold it to some pretty high standards, and the movie just failed to meet them.
9. Matilda- This one is a movie where I say that I think it sucked and I get the stink-eye. People love this movie and I am not sure why. I think it's pretty sadistic. That's all I really have to say on this one. Next movie.
8. The King's Speech- You all know that I am a huge Christopher Nolan fan, and when Inception came out, everybody thought that this would be the movie that would get him his best director nomination, and when his name didn't show up on the list, nobody was happy about it. Since then, that has been recorded as one of the bigger shocks, next to Martin Scorsese losing to Kevin Costner. And again, everybody and their mother told me to see this movie. Well I saw it today... And I immediately decided to write this list... What does that tell you? Here's the thing, I'm not saying that this movie was bad or anything, it just seems really generic, everything about it just feels like they were going down an Oscar checklist, that way they would know for sure that they would sweep come awards season.
7. Titanic- I already did this review in detail. If you want to know why I don't like it, just look it up. I'm tired of talking about this movie
6. Avatar- You people probably think I hate James Cameron, seeing as how I have put his two best known movies on here. And I don't, I like James Cameron when he does just straight up sci-fi. When he tries to get emotional or preachy, that's when I check out. People have asked me to write on this one, I will get to it eventually. Not today.
5. Romeo + Juliet- I already talked about this in my review for Coriolanus, so I won't talk about it too much, but all you should really know is that I think this was a good idea with a botched execution.
4. Moulin Rouge!- You probably think that I hate Baz Lurhman, being that I have now listed two of HIS most well known movies as well. You would be right.
3. The Cell- I almost got into an argument with a friend of mine last week because I mentioned that this movie sucked. And it does people, it really does. Tarsum is one of those guys who, like Lurman, is very much style over substance, but they both think they are all about substance too when all they are really doing is showing us plotlines and themes that I have seen done a million other times and in some cases, I've seen it done a lot better too. The Cell tries to be really artsy and deep but the themes that are raised and the way they got about discussing them are just so lousy and I have seen it done better in episodes of Law and Order
2. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince- For the most part, people like the Harry Potter movies. If you are a fan of the books, however, you probably have that one movie that really rubbed you the wrong way. For me, it was this one because it left out the most stuff that I was really looking forward to seeing. In the book, it dives more into Voldemort's past and we even get to see what his family was like and what his mother and father were like and how that would have warped his mind and messed him up the way that it did. The movie, however, only focused on the teenage aingst part of it which, while it is a big part of the series overall, shouldn't have been the main focus. I have only seen this movie 3 times in my life. I saw it once at a midnight showing, I saw it again because it was my friend's birthday and he really wanted to see it, and I have seen it only once since it came out on DVD. I was just sickened by it.
1. Hairspray- Holy fuckballs do I hate this fucking movie. It is so annoying so bland so god awful... And yet I am the only person within a thousand miles that feels this way. Here's a fun story for you, when I was in high school, there was a day when I came into class feeling under the weather, and my teacher for that class noticed and when I told her I wasn't feeling so hot, she just said "Oh my goodness, then I'm just going to go ahead and apologize now because... We are watching Hairspray" Five minutes into the movie I left to go throw up and my mom had to pick me up. I could write a whole review on why I hate this move, and I probably will because there is just so much to loathe. For one thing, all of the good looking white people have next to no redeeming quality, especially Michelle Pfeiffer and her daughter. Jon Travolta in drag is completely pointless and all of the less than par looking white people and all of the black people are great and caring and saint-like and you just love them. Fuck that shit. It is just so contrived and so full of bullshit. And the thing that hurts the most is that two people that I really like are in this movie and that is Christopher Walken and Michelle Pfeiffer and yet I can't even sit through it for their sakes. The music is annoying, the characters are poorly written and I think it might even be a little racist. I'll save my case for that for the actual review.