Monday, July 30, 2012

Top 10 guilty pleasures

A few months ago, I had made a list of the movies that I love for either being bad or in spite of being bad. Here, I'm going to add on to the list and give you my top 10 instead of my top 5. I'll put the original 5 back in there to refresh everyone's memory. However, of the five that I add, some of you may recognize them seeing as how I've written reviews for some of them. Also, unlike my 10 movies that everyone else hates but I like list, I'm ashamed to say that I own a good chunk of these movies. If not, I wouldn't hesitate to buy them.

  1. The Pirates of the Caribbean sequels- I make no apologies for liking the first one, but I can point out almost everything that is wrong with these movies. And for some reason, I still love them. Why? I don’t have a clue. Maybe it’s that I think the characters are awesome and the dialogue is fun and kind of witty.
  2. Van Helsing- This was a movie that I liked when I saw it in theaters (I was 12, give me a break), but the next time I watched it a few years later, I realized just how asinine it really was. However, Hugh Jackman and the comically over-the-top Dracula make it enjoyable. And I have a soft spot for steampunk horror shit. I actually really like Hellboy and Hellboy The Golden Army
  3.  Cat in the Hat- Hey shut up! The only scene that I actually like is the cupcake cooking show scene. It was like a homage to Mike Meyers’ days as a SNL cast member
  4. Hannibal- I love Silence of the Lambs (it’s in the top 5 for me), but this movie was just lame. So why do I like it? Well, I can’t say no to Gary Oldman, especially when playing a villain, and if I listed all the differences between the book and the movie, the movie would almost seem like a masterpiece. The book had so many unnecessary characters, gory scenes and just an overall weirdness factor that could (should) have just been totally left out. For example, in the movie, Gary Oldman's character, Mason Verger, is killed by being pushed into a pit of ravenous bores (I know it sounds stupid, but it's a long story) that eat him alive. In the book, his lesbian sister (who was left out of the movie) shoves an electric baton up his ass and then shoves his pet eel down his throat, causing it to munch on his tongue and he drowns in his own blood. See what I mean? This is one of those moments where you say “Thank God they didn’t follow the book!”
  5. Anaconda- Good Lord is this movie bad. The writing is terrible, the snake looks extremely fake, as do all of the emotions the actors try to show. And don’t even get me started on Jon Voight’s indefinable accent. He sounds like he’s trying to do an Al Pacino Scarface impression! Yet for some reason, this is a movie that I find myself recording every time it’s on. This is one that I can’t justify. Maybe I love it for being so bad.
  6. Wrath of the Titans- I had a whole review written on how dumb of a movie Wrath was but I still freaking loved it. Like I said before, the dialogue is really dumb and there are times where I think the actors called cut just so they could go laugh their asses off, but it's a movie that is enjoyable to watch and even more enjoyable when being made fun of.
  7. Man in the Iron Mask- This movie could have been great, but the hammy acting and bland dialogue cause it to crash and burn. Much like Anaconda, I can't really put my finger on what I like about it though.
  8. Just about anything Tim Burton has made in the past decade- I say "just about" because there are some movies of his that I legitimately like, mainly Sweeney Todd. However, when it comes to movies like Alice in Wonderland, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and more recently, Dark Shadows, I am often asked why in God's name do I like them. Again, I like the visual style of all of his movies and just how unapologetic he is. It's one thing when a director like Tarsem or Baz Lurhman try to shove their style in your face and show off how artsy they are to the point that they come off as being a little pretentious. But with Burton, even though he does shove his style in our face, he just has this atitude of "I'm just doing my thing, and you can't stop me". I kind of admire him for that and I am actually really looking forward to Frankenweenie.
  9. The Wolfman- Truth be told, I think this is a lot better than some people make it out to be. I know a number of people hate it, but I really enjoy it. The only problem that I had with it was the ending. If you just gave me the script and a pen, I could have made some minor improvements. Apart from that, it's well made, it's well acted, there's a cool atmosphere that pays homage to the horror flicks of old, it has a great cast, especially Hugo Weaving who can make anything seem intense, especially when he has those eyebrows that never seem to lower.
  10. Judge Dredd- This is in the same category as Wrath of the Titans in that I just watch it to make fun of it. That's all I can say because I want you guys to watch it and enjoy the mess that is Judge Dredd.

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