Thursday, January 3, 2013

Worst Movies of 2012

Well, you knew this one was coming. Here are the 10 worst movies of 2012. Some of these movies make me wish the world had ended. Before I start listing them, I will say that some of these I never got around to seeing, but I could tell from the trailers that it was going to suck hard. And if Rotten Tomatoes has any value behind it, it would appear I was right.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance- The first movie was okay, but I think there was a lot of wasted potential with it. This movie was just a failure right from the start. Maybe it's because I was sick with the stomach flu when I saw this, but some of the action and chase scenes were just a headache to watch, and there were a number of speed up then slow down shots that had no purpose whatsoever. This was also Nic Cage at his most Nic Cagest. It's almost like he not only doesn't give a crap, but wants to be known for being this terrible actor who hams and overacts the shit out of his characters. It was much more fun when he was the only one not in on the joke, now it's just ruined. Oh well, we still have Keanu Reeves.

John Carter- Since the success of the Pirates franchise, Disney seems to have really been trying to find another major hit, which would explain why they financed National Treasure (twice), Prince of Persia and now this. This movie wasn't necessarily bad, but for what they were going for, it did not deliver at all.

Battleship- I didn't even see this movie... I had other people go see it for me. As soon as I saw what looked like Michael Bay Decepticons and Rihanna, I thought "Boy, this movie is gonna suck" and then I saw Liam Neeson in the credits and my heart just broke

Underworld: Awakening- I only saw part of Underworld before I had to turn it off. Personally, I never really liked movies about vampires forming armies. Vampires are cool creatures but they are far better working by themselves as a solo villain. Anyway, the kiss of death on this one was that Charles Dance was in it (that's not the kiss of death, he's a fantastic actor and he kicks ass on Game of Thrones), and the vampire teeth they gave him impaired his speaking ability. He sounded like he was trying to talk with food in his mouth. And keep in mind, we are talking about an actor who was able to salvage some dignity from Alien 3

Paranormal Activity 4- Again, not one that I saw, but I really included it here for one reason. I have to ask "Didn't we say all that we needed to say with the first one?" It was a cool idea and now they are just milking the shit out of it

Silent Hill: Revelation- 3 words: Video game movie

Breaking Dawn Pt 2- yeah I said I enjoyed myself immensely while watching it, but that doesn't matter, it's still a shit film

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