Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Grease pt 2

If you read one of my previous installments, I had said that I was going to go through one of the play's more memorable and stupid songs to show just how flawed and illogical it is. Now keep in mind, the set up for the song is Rizzo just got pregnant, she refuses to tell who the father is, and Sandy has just tried to reach out to her and say that she wishes her best, to which Rizzo says is bullshit. So, without more ado, here is the wrongest thing ever written until the inception of Stephenie Meyer.

There are worse things I could do,- That list is fairly short
Than go with a boy or two.- Yeah, you could get pregnant with some random guy you don't know
Even though the neighborhood thinks I'm trashy,
And no good,- Well, you did just get pregnant after a night of anonymous sex, so they aren't wrong
I suppose it could be true,-Suppose? Hon, that's truer than the Bible
But there are worse things I could do.-I refer you to my statement at the beginning of the stanza
I could flirt with all the guys,-That's worse than getting pregnant after anonymous sex?
Smile at them and bat my eyes.- That isn't that bad at all
Press against them when we dance,- As my teachers would all say "Leave room for Jesus!"
Make them think they stand a chance,
Then refuse to see it through.- That's called being a cock tease. Annoying, but there are worse things you could do
That's a thing I'd never do.-You're right, screwing every guy you meet is much better and more admirable than just being flirty
I could stay home every night,-Well going out every night and partying is what landed you and so many other dumb teenage girls in this situation in the first place
Wait around for Mr. Right.-Looks like you just found him, you're already having his baby
Take cold showers every day,
And throw my life away,
On a dream that won't come true.-Well you just threw any dreams you had away by getting pregnant
I could hurt someone like me,- Well, you did just hurt Kenicke by cheating on him
Out of spite or jealousy.- Isn't that what you just did?
I don't steal and I don't lie,
But I can feel and I can cry.-Bitch, please. We all know sluts don't have feelings
A fact I'll bet you never knew.
But to cry in front of you,
That's the worse thing I could do. -Showing a little emotion to someone who has been nice to you and who you have been a bitch to since day one is the worst thing you can do?

And now the ending. For this segment, I'm going to look at how each character ends up, and how they would have ended up had their fates been decided by my pen.
An now the ending. For this segment, I'm going to look at how each character ends up, and how they would have ended up had their fates been decided by my pen.
Rizzo and K- How it ended: Rizzo's pregnancy is a false alarm, her time of the month was late by almost a full week.
How it should have ended: Rizzo is still pregnant, but she refuses to tell who the father is. K is left in a moral dilemma since he doesn't know for sure if the child is his. He is stuck between two decisions: Stick around with Rizzo to help her care for the baby that may be his, or he can ditch the slut because she keeps insisting that it's not his, so there is no longer any reason for him to see her anymore. We last see him left in this emotional conflict
Marty- How it ended: She doesn't really change, however throughout the story, she has a reputation for being a flirt and all around slut as well, since she is supposedly engaged to a marine she went on one date with and yet still flirts with Vince Fontaine, the radio DJ who hosts a school dance (in the original stage play, they full on make out, or necking as it says in the script)
How it should have ended: Vince Fontaine gets arrested for having sexual relations with a 17 yr old, and following the scandalous headlines, rumors start to spread that she did more than just flirt (or neck) with Fontaine at the dance and she becomes a pariah.
Frenchy- How it ended: She somehow seems to succeed at getting a job in a cosmetics store despite the fact that she dropped out of both high school and beauty school. To be honest, this is the story arc that really pisses me off the most because there was a song where her guardian angel comes down from heaven to tell her that it would be best if she went back and finished high school.
How it should have ended: She becomes a prostitute. DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT! You know as good as I that this is the only way for her story to go.
Sandy and Danny- How it ended: Sandy decides to make Rizzo her life coach and undergoes a total makeover in order to win Danny's heart. What a shocker, they end up together.
How it should have ended: Sandy realizes that if she is to get anywhere in life, she can't be wasting her time chasing after the most superficial guy in movies until the introduction of James Bond. Danny continues down his self destructive path of pursuing the sins of the flesh while Sandy decides that she was much better off at the catholic school, even if they were a little strict on the dress code.
Doody and Sonny- I got nothing for them.
Rump and Jan- How it ended: They end up together
How it should have ended: Actually, I'm cool with that. These are the only people that don't do anything all that stupid so what the heck, we'll let them stay that way.
Just kidding. You see Rump got his nickname for having a reputation for being the mooning champ of Rydell High. So assuming he stays as immature in the future as he is right now, we'll say that one day he mooned a car that had a small child in it and was arrested for indecent exposure to a minor. It's a stretch, I know, but you have to remember that I come from the same school of thought as Quentin Tarantino and the Coen Bros, where shit just happens.

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