Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Boondock Saints

Well I told you that I had a bad reputation for shitting on movies that people like, so I figured I might as well get started. And what better movie to start this off than The Boondock Saints. Now before everybody grabs their torches and crucifixion kits, I would like to start off by saying that I don’t really hate this movie, I just wasn’t blown away by it the same way everybody else was. But every time I mention that I didn’t think this movie was amazing, I get badgered by fanboys all accusing me of not knowing what a good movie was. I saw it after everybody else, and had heard multiple people go on and on about how freaking awesome it was. My brother even recommended it to me on the basis that I would enjoy this movie because I liked The Departed. In his mind, this wasn’t that big of a stretch. In my mind, there isn’t a rubber band in existence that can stretch more than that claim. Obviously that is a bit of an over exaggeration, but I digress.

Why don’t we start out with what I liked about the movie… Well… Willem Dafoe was pretty cool… I guess. The action was pretty neat… I remember laughing my ass off when the accidentally shot the cat. I do like that they left a little bit of it to audience interpretation (are they crazy or are they on a mission from God?). Other than that, there wasn’t anything all that memorable about it.

Now onto what I didn’t like. Willem Dafoe.
But wait a minute?! Didn’t you list him as one of the things you LIKED about this movie?
You bring up a fair point, maybe I should explain. Willem Dafoe is a very talented actor and has gotten a reputation for being memorable antagonists. In this one, he sort of plays the antagonist since he is the cop that has been assigned to track down the brothers. I liked the fact that they made him very eccentric and very over the top when it came to how he did his police work. But there was one scene that had me going “Eh?” It was the scene where he is investigating one of the shootouts that happened between the brothers and a stranger (I KNOW WHO IT IS! I’M JUST NOT INCLUDING SPOILERS!!!). At one point, he yells out “THERE WAS A FIREFIGHT!!!” and then pretends to conduct an orchestra whilst picturing how it all went down. And then, for no reason whatsoever, he just pulls out his gun and fires several rounds in the air. I would like to think that there was something that I missed, but the more I think about it… Nope. Didn’t miss anything. That was how it happened. Now I know that he is supposed to be eccentric and everything, but even then, if I had seen him do that, I would seriously have him committed! The other thing that bothers me is the fact that they had to make him gay. I’m not homophobic or anything, but that subplot was just kind of unnecessary. It would be one thing if it added to his character, but it doesn’t. You could have left out that one scene entirely, and it would not have made a bit of difference.
Hold up! Don’t you remember him cross-dressing towards the end of the movie?!
Why yes I do sir, but he cross-dressed because it was a disguise so he could get somewhere. You could just accredit that to his eccentric nature. What would have worked better, at least I think, is if they had a subplot where it was hinted that he MIGHT be homosexual or bisexual. Maybe have a scene or two where he says some flirtatious things to one of the male detectives. And then that way, people could make the argument that either he was homosexual, or he just says stuff like that because he is eccentric and a little socially awkward. But instead, we have a subplot that takes up one scene, goes nowhere, and is never brought up again.

I guess that is the only thing that really bugs me. There are other things that bug me, but I can let it slide, mostly because my fingers are getting tired and because I can already here a mob of people outside that are ready to string me up. Now the main reason that I didn’t enjoy this movie, at least what I think, is that maybe I heard a few too many stories about how awesome this movie supposedly was. It was just way overhyped and therefore my expectations were too high. I even had a friend admit to me that maybe he was part of why I didn’t like this movie. Maybe I’ll watch it in a few years and enjoy it more than when I first saw it. If I make it through tonight, I’ll be sure to let you know, assuming the crowd that just broke down the door to my basement hasn’t killed me first. Until then, I hope you have a good evening, or at least better than the one I’m about to ha

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