Monday, October 1, 2012

Villain of the Day- October 1st

House Lannister

To kick of Villain of the Day here, I figured we'd start off with not one villain, but really a group of villains. And I promise this will be one of the few days where I talk about something Game of Thrones related... I think. Anyway, the Lannisters are one of the most prominent  if not the most prominent families in the seven realms. They consist of Lord Tywin and his children, twins Cersei and Jaime and the youngest Tyrion, but we won't talk about him here because he is a fucking boss and you actually like him. On top of being total douche bags, each in their own way, the Lannisters in general are known just for being some of the most smug ass holes anybody has, or will ever, meet. But why don't we take a look at each of these people and see why they are just so much fun to hate.

Cersei- The wife of King Robert Baratheon and eldest child of her father Tywin, Cersei is the very definition of girl power, she doesn't take no for an answer and fucks up and dick weeds that are stupid enough get in the way of her and her goals... Unfortunately, she is a total backstabbing double crossing bitch that sleeps with everyone, including her own brother and her own cousin. Though, to her credit, she is mostly motivated by her children who she just wants to see want for nothing. In fact, she even at one point hints that her only true devotion is to her children, everybody else can suck it. That's the great thing about this story, is that while everyone is flawed and far from perfect, you can find something to like and admire about most of the characters. I say most because I still don't like Cersei all that much, and there is one guy that I have to talk about that every Thrones fan can agree needs to go away and die!

"When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. There is no middle ground"

Jaime- The other twin child of Lord Tywin, Jaime is a member of the Kingsguard, a group of knights sworn to protect the king... The last of which he killed years ago. For this, people have a mixed opinion of him. On the one hand, the king was crazy and had to go, and on the other, most people can't look past the fact that Jaime broke the vow he had sworn to uphold by killing the one person he was supposed to protect. In terms of being a villain, I'm really only talking about the first season/book because he has that smug attitude that is almost a trademark of this family, and he shoves a little boy out of a window because he catches him gettin it on with his sister. In the books that follow, he actually turns out to not be that bad of a guy... If you can forgive the shoving a little kid out of a window part.

"There are no men like me. Only me"

Tywin- The patriarch of the family, Lord Tywin has quite a history to him. He had a father who made a fool of himself all the time, he was made Hand of the King to a tyrant when he was twenty years old,  has an utter hatred for the gods because they took his wife and replaced her with a dwarf son, and on top of that, he utterly destroyed one family for insulting him, to the point that the only record of them even being around is a song that was written about them... being totally fucking obliterated by the teenage Lord Tywin. This is a guy who doesn't take no for an answer (see where Cersei gets it from?) and God help you if you even think of telling him "no". In terms of personality, this guy makes Darth Vader look like Santa Clause. He never laughs, hardly smiles and even despised the idea of laughter, mostly because whenever he heard laughter, it was always directed at his father, who made good of every opportunity to make an ass of himself. He's also a "no bullshit" kind of guy. If he sees something, he'll call people out on it and tell them how full of shit they are. Even to his own grandson, the king. Oh, we'll get to that little puke. The one thing that I love about this character is that I love guys who can change the mood of every one in the room, just by walking in the door. There's a scene in the second season where he rides in on his horse and everyone drops what they are doing and bows before him. No other character in the series has really been able to command that kind of respect and fear from people.

"Lions care not for the opinions of the sheep"

Joffrey- There are three things that every fan can agree on. One, there's a character that died at the end of the first season that we are all sad to see go. Two, Tyrion is the man. Three, this little turd monkey needs to die already! He is the teenage son of Robert Baratheon (in actuality, he is the fruit of Jaime and Cersei's incest), and there is nothing likable about him. His entitlement  the fact that he doesn't know how to rule a kingdom, he doesn't know how to earn people's respect, he thinks that he can just throw the word "king" out there and everybody has to like him. He makes Draco Malfoy look like a decent person. Whenever things don't go his way, he orders their heads on a pike and accuses everyone of being traitors. Probably one of my favorite scenes in the series is when Tyrion, being the boss that he is, full on bitch slaps Joffrey because his rage started a riot in the capitol city, and pointing out that his people are starving as a result of a war that he started. Joffrey, go die in a ditch. Tyrion, in the words of the Joker "You are my number one guy!"

"A king does not ask, he commands!"

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